This is about to make it sound like I'm a gardener. I'm not a gardener, I just suffer from an abundance of space so I put things in the ground and water them maybe once if they're lucky, and some of them die and some of them sit there resentfully and some of them make me free food and some of them make me free food and then make more of themselves. I call this "Darwinian gardening".
Silverbeet: I hope you like silverbeet because you're going to be seeing a lot of me around.
Asparagus: Eat me!
Spring onions: o/~ You cut me down, I spring up again, you're never gonna get me down o/~
Button mushroom: Surprise, I'm a mushroom!
Poppies: We resemble that scene in the Wizard of Oz.
Strawberries: Hi I made you a strawberries.
Silverbeet: What colour do you like do you like green or yellow or red or pink or orange or pale green or more red or-- No, can't do silver, how about orange or green or dark green or--
Pumpkin: I have huge flowers.
Bok choy: Slugs enjoy me.
Lettuce: Earwigs are my friends.
Poppies: Here have more seeds than you could ever use in muffins in a year.
Strawberries: More strawberries?
Celery: I will take two years to grow and taste terrible but it's the thought that counts, right?
Silverbeet: Or yellow-green or red-orange or orange-pink or green-red or--
Pumpkin: So many flowers.
Raspberries: Ugh, here are 14 raspberries I suppose.
Plums: Are you ready for plums? WHOOMPH!
Strawberries: Hi again it's me, strawberries.
Zucchinis: Would you like a zucchini? Haha it's a marrow now. Enjoy your four marrows while I grow more marrows.
Mandarin tree: You grew me from a seed from a supermarket mandarin, what did you expect, flowers?
Lemon tree: All my flowers fell off.
Strawberries: Look here are more strawberries.
Silverbeet: I'm going to spend three months slowly going to seed now.
Pumpkin: All the flowers.
Grapes: Btw I decided to make grapes two months early this year, you probably didn't notice them hidden under the leaves. Oh look the birds ate them all, what're you gonna do.
Yellow zucchinis: Would you like a tiny yellow zucchini or shall I just shrivel up, yeah I think I'll do that.
Pumpkin: I guess I can make one pumpkin. Also more flowers!
Mystery cucurbit: Spherical cucumber, spherical pumpkin, who knows? The important thing is that I'm really big!
Peaches: Hey the peaches are ripe now, also turning mouldy, why didn't you pick them in the three seconds they were perfect?
Lettuce: I'm going to look like a dandelion as I go to seed.
Bok choy: I'm going to emit a secret call to aphids worldwide to come and swarm my seed pods.
Silverbeet: I've made a million seeds and every single one of them will be a new silverbeet, I think you'll enjoy their colours.
Strawberries: Continuing to grow strawberries.
- In which her garden makes her some food